The stories below are some that have been selected from our recipient list. You can search the page for someone you would like to write a letter to, based on their story, location, or anything about them.
If you find yourself stuck on what to write about, remember to try to keep your letter friendly, and fill it with Hope and Support. I typically start off with introducing myself, and then just let it go from there. Your letter to them should be personal in nature, drawing off of their story / about them below. Feel free to write about yourself, ask them questions about their city or country, or anything in general. Add in inspirational quotes, doodles, color…anything to make it lively and unique.
On the top of the letter somewhere (on page 1 if you write multiple pages), please put the LAD Number found before their name. This will help us to match up which we receive the letters here, so we can get it to the right person.
The information below is setup as follows:
LAD Number First Name Gender Age Range City State / Province Country
Their Story / About Them
When complete, letters are sent to the following address:
Letters Against Depression
3211 Vineland Rd. #320
Kissimmee, FL 34746
You can have more than one letter per envelope, which should help save on stamp costs.
If anyone is interested in being a volunteer with LAD, go to Volunteer at the top of the page for more information.
THANK YOU EVER SO KINDLY!!
1401 Lachlan Male 14-18 Wagga Wagga NSW Australia
Hi :) my names lachlan, ive been homeless on and off throughout my life but have only recently got it together for now haha, had depression throughout most of my life, its only gotten worse lately with my ex leaving me for the second time and my childhood friend passing but throughout all of it im still looking for a job and trying to keep a smile and crack as many jokes about life as i can while im still here
1402 Crystal Female 25-29 Wichita KS USA
I was diagnosed with depression when I was 11. I really dont know who I am outside of this ball of anxiety and depression I am now. I just turned 25, and on my birthday I found out I'm getting laid off effecting July. And I'm so scared. I have no idea what to do or what's going to happen. I was super close to my grandma, who passed about a year and a half ago, and the few month before I did I fell into a depression spiral and wasn't answering my phone or calling her or anything, and I hate myself for being so selfish and not being a better grand daughter to her. I know this all seems very rambling and disjointed, I just dont know what to say.
1403 Alex Male 14-18 Hobart Tasmania Australia
Im just so tired. Everythings really messed up and idk what to do anymore. My body hurts and i want to die. I had my first shower in like a month+ today and it was bad. I was filthy and sad It took my entire day to actually do it as well God Im just Sad My poor housemates idk how they deal with me
1404 Ella Female 19-24 Glenorchy Tasmania Australia
My name is Ella. My last name is legally Adams, but I hope to change it to Bricknell-Banks soon enough. I'm 20, living in Hobart, Tasmania. I love exploring the bush and camping. 6 years ago, my best friend died when she was hit by a speeding ute. She was 13. Since then I think my "perfect" life was so different. My family has suffered so much loss. We lost my pop, who was my rock. We lost my gran, to cancer as well. My parents divorced, and so did my aunt and uncle. Then everything got worse when my aunt and cousin were in a bad car accident. They were in ICU for weeks and we were the only ones around to care for her 5 other kids. They moved in with us, and I was kicked out into the shed. Things are getting better I guess, but my mind isn't. I'm still so mentally tired from years of holding everything in.
1405 Aoife Female 19-24 San Francisco CA USA
Hi... I have had depression since I was 14, so for about 8 years. I’m about to finish college in a month. I never ever thought I’d get to this point, as I have struggled really bad with my mental health in the past few years. I moved to Ireland 4 years ago to go to school here and it’s been so hard. It has been the most amazing experience I’ve ever had, but I’ve been pretty alone here and had to deal with a lot on my own. I took a year out of school because I had a breakdown and went back this year because I was doing a lot better.. but it’s been terrible. I hate university, and I am really bad at it. I’m worried about not passing my classes and wasting my parents money. My family means so much to me, they are the only reason I am here today and have supported me every step of the way. I don’t want to disappoint them. I just feel like I’m struggling really bad again. And I’m so bummed because I’ve been trying so hard, been in therapy for the past 3 years, and have made progress... but now I’m back exactly where I don’t want to be and it sucks. And I’m worried that it’s going to ruin my exams. I really want to graduate and make my family proud. One thing that has been keeping me going is my spirituality.. I’m a pagan so my practice has been very grounding. I also like doing embroidery and needlepoint, drawing, journaling, cooking, true crime, and playing music. Thanks for doing this, you are all wonderful people.
1409 Stell Female 19-24 Telford Shropshire United Kingdom
So it's my birthday tomorrow and I've been having breakdowns daily because it's a trigger for me since last year. Last year I turned 20. I cried all day long because I did not want to live to 20 and was angry that I hadn't died. My nan said that if I wanted to die id have just done it without telling anyone. In November I tried to overdose on Sertraline because I lost my job and my partner left me, and partly because I felt like I had to prove I was ill. I live with my mum again now and it's pretty bad because I've only gotten worse. After 6 years of trying to get help I am finally going to my first Life Skills group and am in the diagnostic process of suspected BPD. Anyway I really like dogs and hope to live on my own again when im stable and I'm saving for a PC so that I have a creative outlet as well as gardening which I want to start doing. Sorry for the ramble lol
1410 Noah he/him or they/them 14-18 Christchurch City Canterbury New Zealand
I'm Noah, a 17 year old who's kind of had the short end of the stick in life tbh. My whole life has been riddled w. pain and hurt - I grew up in a severely abusive environment up until November 2017. Prior to that, between March 2017 and November, I had been homeless after running away from the abusive home. I've had trauma my whole life which led to PTSD and depression, and so often everything just feels so empty. November 2017 was so important for me: some friends helped me get out and gave me a safe home. These people mean the world to me - they keep me safe, they keep me warm and fed, they surround me with love and kindness. As I write this, one of them (having seen me say I was craving it) has just made banana bread for me!!! Even tho it's past midnight here. I love doing art, it's my relaxing place and I can use it to make people happy. I work digitally, and maybe one day I'll pursue a career in that field. I guess one of my hopes and dreams is... for there to be something *better*. I feel so guilty for still being hurt, for still struggling to get out of bed most days, when I have so much. But part of me still hopes for something better. Not just for me, but for my friends too - maybe even more so. I wish I could take on everyone's pain so they can have that better. I wish I could be that better. I guess my story has stagnated a bit. I'm out of the flame but still burning. My brain and my past rule my life currently, and so many people just don't get it. Maybe you won't either, but I think that would be okay as long as somebody listens. This got rambly and I'm sure I did this wrong but. Yeah. I'm sad and hollow and hurt but still hoping.
1411 Claudia Female 19-24 Kyneton Victoria Australia
Hello! I’m Claudia and I’m 19 from Australia. Firstly thank you so much for this letter, it means the world to me. I struggle greatly with manic depression, general anxiety disorders, and PTSD. While I am in recovery and have been the best I have ever been all my life, I am very alone. I had to move towns to avoid my family, and my friends told me that I was “too sad” to hang around anymore and that my depression was making them sad. My mother was unhappy with how I turned out. As a child, I was more interested in video games and “boy things” which made my mother upset. She would destroy the things I purchased for myself during my teenage years because “I shouldn’t like them”. Before my graduation, she gave me a black eye because I talked back to her partner. I wanted to kill myself, but I held on and moved in with my dad. We had no contact during my life due to my mother’s lies. I would like to delve much deeper into the relationship between my mother and her horrible partner of 9 years, but I am trying not to think about them because I then also think of my two brothers. I have had no contact with them since I left my abusive household and I love them so dearly. My brother Andrew is now 16 and William is 8. At one point, they were the only thing keeping me alive on this planet and I didn’t get to say goodbye due to the violent nature I moved out in. I was always treated the worst out of them, and I hope it stays that way. I hope they never have to go through all my pain. I hope one day they understand why I had to go. This was all last year, I now live by myself in a new town. I do have some people I can talk to, but they are psychologists and doctors. Any note of kindness from a human would genuinely mean the world to me, I am doing my best to make friends but my social anxiety is still hard to tame. I am not too sure what the future holds for me, but I know I must keep moving forward. Thank you again for reading apart of my story, and even more so for taking the time to write a letter back :)
1412 Winter Female 25-29 Grand Prarie TX USA
I am a 25 year old mother, my daughter is 15 months old and was removed from my care because my spouse and I lost our home. I suffer from borderline personality disorder, bipolar I, and PTSD. I am trying to get on disability and finally have a hearing, but it won’t be until July. We were staying with family because of my inability to hold a job due to mental instability. They put us out on the streets and placed my little one with family. I lived in my car for 3 weeks with my spouse until we saved enough money to get into a hotel suite, and that is where we live now. My daughter was finally supposed to come home on Monday (April 23rd), but my mother in law (who has my daughter) made allegations to cps saying that she thinks we’re using drugs, so now she won’t be coming home. My spouse used once... but I have been clean for over two years. It feels so unfair. After six months they can try to take custody of my daughter and I am so scared that I am going to lose her. She is the most important thing in my life. After struggling with my depression so hard since she was taken, to the point I couldn’t get out of bed for weeks at a time at my lowest points, my mood and outlook on life were beginning to improve and now I want to die. The only things I have to distract myself are my books and video games. I feel so alone every day, so hopeless. The only thing I’m good at is being a mother, but I don’t have my baby. I spend all of my days alone while my spouse is at work because I don’t have any close friends. My spouse and I don’t get along very well, we argue nearly every day, but I guess we love each other. I am terrified of the future, I don’t want to live my life without my daughter, I can’t. I know this seems so dark and probably unbearably so. I have had several close friends leave me in the past for being “too sad”. So I’m sorry in advance. I just feel very isolated, and I don’t see anything good coming in my future, and this was simply an attempt to find a little bit of positivity during the hardest moment of my life. I just need someone to even pretend to care about what I’m going through.
1413 Annabelle Female 19-24 Granite Falls WA USA
I’ve been dealing with an increase in my ‘regular’ depression since my son was born. I stopped working to be a stay at home mom for him, but i’ve lost all sort of outside contact because of it. Sometimes i find myself sitting awake at 4am not because he is but because i can’t get my mind to stop racing through all of the stupid stuff i’ve ever done. i’ve been dissociating more than ever, and i’m scared that it has to do with me not actually enjoying what i’ve turned my life into. i know i won’t ever leave this life, because i love my son and don’t want to, but i get so irrevocably sad when i actually sit down and reflect on my days. the fact that walking outside to the mailbox is the highlight of my day is really upsetting. i feel like i’ve already missed out on youth and i’m only 20. i’ve never felt so alone.
1414 Jennifer Female 19-24 Auckland City Auckland New Zealand
Hello! Firstly, I want to thank you for this. It is an amazing idea and people like me really appreciate it. I'm not sure where to start, but I just feel like there's a cloud hanging over me. I'm scared that I'm ungrateful sometimes, but I just can't be 100% content with anything. There's always something in the back of my mind telling me that I'm not good enough. My parents aren't always too great (my mother is extremely abusive and my dad is a bit of an enabler, though he is still on my side). I've been to the free therapists at uni a few times, but I didn't do anything but cry, and I do that enough at home, haha. In terms of what I enjoy doing, I really love making music, art and cooking! I'd say I'm quite a creative person, though a lot of the time, I feel inspired and I get too overwhelmed with trying to physicalise what's in my mind, and I just end up not doing anything, which really sucks :( My boyfriend is by far the most special person in my life. I've been dating him for almost 4 years now, and he is honestly the only thing keeping me alive at the moment! We were best friends before dating, and we met in high school. We're both on opposite sides of the world now (I'm in New Zealand and he's in America) and have been doing long distance for 3 years. At times it gets really difficult (we're both very high-energy people and get overwhelmed quite fast) to communicate, but we try to get through it! He's a lovely person, though not the best at verbal communication (he's more comfortable expressing emotion in person). I've always wanted to be a singer. Hollywood has always been the dream. I'm still trying, I really am. But I don't know. I feel like I'm not good enough. I'm not sure what else to say. I'm not too interesting! Anyway, thank you so much, once again, and I really can't wait to receive your letter! I hope you have a wonderful week.
1415 Ayla Female 19-24 Bedminster Bristol England
I have been working so hard over the past few years to get better. I’ve gone from being unemployed, with no way to go to university. To having a job as piercer and going to University this fall. I feel very alone and tired at the moment and feel like I’ve exhausted myself to the point where I’m going to fail and have nothing again. I like alternative things and rock/ stoner metal. My dream is to become a voice actress. My name is Ayla
1416 Sarah Female 19-24 Athens GA USA
I’m a sophomore in college hoping to go to vet school. I come from a really small town and now i go to this huge university that is very overwhelming. I was really smart i high school, however, here I’m just pretty mediocre. So now everyone from back home expects so much from me and I just feel like i’m constabtly falling backwards I’m constantly exhausted because i work two jobs on top of my really hard science classes. I’m just very overwhelmed at this point. I know for sure I’d make a great vet and would love to go into shelter medicine but it just seems so far off and I feel like i’m not smart or equipped enough to get into vet school. I feel very lost right now. I was diagnosed with GAD and MDD about a year a half ago but I have felt horrible for the past two years. My sweet little pupper is really the only thing that keeps me going. I would love some words of encouragement or something to keep my mind off of school for a minute. Thank you
1417 Wiktoria Female 14-18 Gryfino Poland
Hello! Even though I’m pretty young I’ve struggled with depression for a few years now, but just recently reached out for help. I guess that was a pretty big step for me and I feel a little proud of myself. I’m on the path to feeling happy and loving myself (I really hope that doesn’t sound cheesy o o f) I’ve started noticing little things that make me feel a little better like music or drawing. Even though my thoughts(?) and feeling aren’t always perfect I believe that I can get through this (and sorry if that doesn’t make much sense, English isn't my first language [Polish is] but a letter in English would be amazing, any letter actually) So that’s pretty much it. And to anyone reading this: I hope that you’ll have a great day. Thank you
1418 Margaret Female 19-24 Ottawa Ontario Canada
I’m having a pretty hard time lately. I have a chronic medical illness that impacts every part of my life and it’s really hard to not let it effect me. I also have depression so sometimes it’s just not worth the effort of doing anything because I need to do so much. Last November my dad died suddenly and being an only child I had to take care of a lot of stuff for his funeral and my university was completely unhelpful. I had to fight to get any sort of leeway to travel let alone attend his funeral because I had exams coming up and they wouldn’t allow a deferral. I just want school to end and to have a break. I’m exhausted and don’t know what else to do.
1419 Samantha Female 19-24 Minneapolis MN USA
I'm nineteen and I have two dogs, a chihuahua named Charlie and a big half English Mastiff, half black lab/saint Bernard names Henry. They're both ESA's and have helped so much with my depression and anxiety, which I've struggled with for five years or so. I struggled with self harm for most of the last five years. My depression has been really bad since I started college two years ago, a lot of stress and pressure. I'm going to an art school for photography
1420 Serena Female 14-18 Alessandria AL Italy
hello! i don't know how to start, (sorry for my bad english, in advance!) so i guess i'll just go with some things that made my life a bit miserable. i had an uncle with down syndrome, and he was very ill (and so was my grandpa) so i spent most of my life in hospitals, which made me think a lot about death and things like that. i've never been able to hang around with other kids my age because my mom didn't want me to go play with them (still don't understand the reason) and, exept for my brother, i was alone. picture this: a 7 years old girl with no friends, forced to stay overnight at the hospital with no one, but her dying uncle. but moving on, they later died (i prefer not to talk about this, it makes me cry so hard all the time) and i kinda made some new friends, especially this guy i started dating (i was 13, he was 15). our relationship was going really well, but... you know, 15 years olds are a bit hypersexual and... he molested me. i said no, i really did. he made me feel miserable, called me fat because i refused to have sex, i starved myself and started cutting for this... i'm sorry if this sounds really stupid, but i was (still am) really self concious about these things. (now i'm ok i'm not hurting myself anymore!!) here are some things that make me happy!!: nintendo games, especially animal crossing (i have a tattoo of their logo!!)and the guy i'm dating really loves kirby!! oh, lemme tell you about him, he makes me so happy: he's a cinnamon roll, literally the Nice Giant stereotype and it's so cute! he plays the piano and records many covers of my favourite songs for me to listen at night when i can't fall asleep, his hands are so nice and big and... . i dunno, i really appreciate and love him!!! we both want to become cartoonists, i wish we could make comics together!! and.... idk what else to say, thanks for listening! ( *´︶`*)
1423 Heather Female 19-24 Hastings NY USA
I've struggled with depression/anxiety for near 15 years now. I honestly feel like I cant remember my childhood whatsoever and it's hard for me to determine how I really feel at any given time. I've attempted in the past.. 5 times. I have no idea where to start. It's just a constant feeling of a void, hopelessness.. a looming sensation of something dreadful about to happen. I'm all over the place, I apologize. My daily struggles are mainly focused on self esteem and body image related to not feeling like I'm good enough, or just enough in general which leads to the anxiety. I often feel like I'm the butt of a joke, my friends aren't real, and that everyone knows something I dont. I am 23. Struggling to find a keep a job. Dropped out of nursing. A real series of failures really, it's always any attempt I make seems to be dashed instsntly. I'm sorry, I'm trying to be brief. I enjoy art. Literature. My cat, Maribell, has been a big factor in saving my life as I'd never want to leave her. I enjoy nature. I am a practicing witch. Anything else I can imagine I'm unsure of. Sorry, again. Thank you so much for reading.
1425 Julie Female 19-24 Driebergen-Rijsenburg Utrecht Netherlands
When I was 13 or 14 I went through a super traumatic event. This combined with my just starting puberty sparked a major depression that didn't shrink until I was 18. I also have MCDD, a disorder that has many faces but in me it shows as "my brain makes almost no sleep hormones, so I literally don't sleep sometimes not even when I'm really tired". I went to see therapists for the traumatic event but they were all dead set on fixing my unfixable sleep problem first. No blue light, get up at 7AM every day, don't drink coffee... All things I was already doing. Nothing worked. I received no help for anything else than sleep, even though my depression and trauma made me unable to go to school. When I was 18 I saw an MCDD specialist for the first time. No doctor before her, with the exception of the one who diagnosed me, knew what it was. I cried for an hour, that's how relieved I was. Her own daughter has MCDD. This is when I learned that no, I can't fix my sleeping by myself, I need artificial hormones. There was nothing I could've done to help me sleep. 4 years of therapy for nothing. I received mirtazapine for sleep (low dose antidepressants with sleep aid properties) and citalopram for MCDD in general. Cita is a med made with MCDD in mind. I will be on it for the rest of my life and I am so happy. I didn't have to suffer, but I did, because no one knew what I had and thought they were different enough to fix me. I'm 20 now, almost 21, I finished high school thanks to my citalopram (2 years late but who cares!!), I'm going to college to be an English teacher soon. In general, life is so good! I'm happy! But the feeling of injustice and fear of relapse hangs over me like a dark cloud. I can't seem to shake it. I'm terrified of becoming who I was back then again. I guess that's it. Thank you. X
1426 Leah Female 19-24 Port Perry Ontario Canada
I struggle with depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder but mostly low self esteem. After 12 years of no treatment or even meds I have just started getting help by a psychiatrist and have a mental health team. I hope to beat this and finally be able to see a future for myself, i hope to find stability and love.
1427 Adela Female 14-18 Velky Beranov Czechia Czech Republic
My problems started a year ago when I realized that life makes no sense, that everything is pointless and all I do is totally unnecessary, because I'm still gonna die, so why should I have to try. So this made me very depressed for a few months, I cut myself and I thought about suicide, because it I felt it was the only way to stop this stupid and pointless charade we live in. When my parents found my scars, I had to spent a few weeks in the psychiatric. Now I have some antidepressants and I have to visiting my psychiatrist sometimes. But I'm on the low again. I have no motivation to do anything, I want to kill myself, I really want to, but I can't because of my brother. We are really close and our mother died when we were four, so it would be so cruel if I died too. But I don't know what to do. I can't tell anyone because they would sent me to the hospital again. My stepmother hates me so I'm afraid of every evening I have to spend at home with her. I wish there was some way to stop living without committing suicide, but I don't know how to do it. No one loves me. No one ever will. Me neither.
1429 Tatum Female 25-29 Dadeville AL USA
I’ve battled with depression from a young age. It all started when I was sexually assaulted by a close family friend. Since then it’s been a whirlwind of failed therapy, prescriptions, and hopes. I’ve come a long way since it all begun. But I’m currently going through a lot. Mostly with heart break..(?) I was in a serious relationship when I was 18, by 20 I was engaged. I broke off the engagement, and cut that person out of my life. I tried other relationships and they all failed, miserablely. I always thought about him...so recently I reconnected. I poured out my heart and soul to him in person and he reluctantly agreed to be my friend. I get to see him a couple times a week around mutual friends. But it kills me I can’t be with him. He’s standing right there, but he’s out of reach. He knows I love him, and would do anything to get him back...it’s just agonizing watching him and knowing I can’t have him. It’s made my depression go insane. Not eating, sleeping or eating everything and not sleeping. I’ve given him lots of attention and gone out of my way to be nice, and I’ve not paid him much attention or went out of my way for him. It seems like neither makes a difference...and if I still can’t get over him after a year, how will I ever?!
1433 Adreana Female 25-29 Crystal City TX USA
Lost grandma who raised me... Kids father abusive feel like no one understand me sister died in car accident... Mother been on drug whole life..... And lost everything in hurricane Harvey lost baby due to tubal pregnancy and trying for another.. But luck isn't what I want it to be
1435 Alicia Female 19-24 Topeka KS USA
I’m 23, currently a mother of two. My mother suffers from schizophrenia and depression, and couldn’t take care of my older sister and I so I was in foster care from the age of 2 until I aged out at 18. During my time in foster care I had good placements, but also some where I was abuse physically and sexually off and on from the time I was 5-14 years old. I finally shared what I had been experiencing when I was 16 and it hasn’t so much bothered me anymore. I married my husband when I was 19 but have been dealing with disrespect, cheating, and verbal, emotional, and a little bit of physical abuse (affecting my self esteem). I am trying to make things work with him for the sake of our kids who are 3 and 1.5 (I know sounds crazy) but more than anything I always wanted a two parent home for my kids, they love their dad and he’s trying to improve himself he joined the army active duty in November and is currently in AIT. So I am happy about that... I aspire to be a nurse one day. I had been in school taking prerequisites for my LPN, but too this semester off since it was so hard going to work (I’m a school bus driver), school, and parenting two toddlers alone. More than anything I just want to be happy and I want my kids to be happy.
1437 Ashia Female 19-24 Topeka KS USA
Hello, my name is Ashia and I’m 24 years old I have had a tough life when I was younger I used to get bullied a lot because I was different I was a happy goody child and that love to just loved to laugh and play and be weird I loved being me until I started to get bullied really bad from the kids at school they used to corner me at recess time and talk about me really bad and always do mean things because I wasn’t like them I also used to get bullied because I used to have a lazy eyes so I got bullied every single day about it and no teacher would ever help me they would just let them talk sadly and it did not make it any easier at home for me because I have 3 brothers and 3 sisters and they were always so mean to me that hated me so even when I was at home I would still be by myself so I created me some Imaginary friends and I would talk to them every single day that was my happy place at that time and it only caused my family to talk about me more I think at that age is we’re I developed mental problems problems and I got older my anxiety and depression got worse but through it all my mom was always there for me she was my best friend no matter what I did she was always so proud of me there was so many days back then when I just wanted to just die but I couldn’t get myself to do I needed to be here to help take care of her because she was sick majorly of her life and sadly April 29th 2017 she passed away and I just felt so alone I felt like when she died a big part of me went with her my home family refuses to talk to me they said I’m dead to them but me and my dad are starting to get closer we never really had a good relationship growing up but it’s getting better and I thank god for that!
1439 Maya Female 14-18 Belleville Ontario Canada
Hi, I'm Maya, I am 18 years old and from Canada. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Obssesive Compulsive Personality Disorder, Major Depression Disorder, ADHD, Social Anxiety Disorder and General Anxiety. I enjoy reading, writing and drawing.
1440 Hesther Female 19-24 Yorkshire United Kingdom
Hi. I never thought I'd come across something like this on the internet before. It's different. I'm hoping having letters will give me something to look forward to. I recently came out of work due to depression. I work nights at a dementia care home and it can get very stressful. I'd been feeling low for a while and none of my peers listened when I asked for help. So I walked out of the building and went home. I believed and still believe I did the right thing. I wasn't in the right state of mind to be looking after people. But now I'm jobhunting again, I feel myself slipping slowly back into my old habits. Putting tasks off. Making excuses. Isolating myself. My dad passed away on the 18th may 2015 and it's his 3rd year anniversary of his death coming up and I know I'm going to struggle. I just want to thank the person who will be writing this letter. You are incredible.
1441 Deborah Female 19-24 Cardiff United Kingdom
Im 23, going though a break up with someone I thought I was goign to be with for the rst of my life. since the break u ive had a mscarriage and lost my job. I've tried to commit suicide and would honestly try again.
1442 Christalenia Masculine leaning Agender 19-24 Borna Germany
so, where do i start hi, I'm Cas, I'm nineteen and my pronouns are they and he. I got diagnosed with severe depression early February, but I've been struggling with Depression since I was twelve and severe depression since I was sixteen. I have borderline personality disorder, which makes my life and relationships hell and just... makes it hard to deal with everything, to be honest. I am disabled and can hardly walk because of an arthrosis. My family and workplace is super invalidating towards my disability despite my parents (who are my bosses) seeing how much I struggle at least physically. It hurts. I love to play the Ukulele. I reached it myself shortly after my fave grandpa died because of lung cancer. I love playing it, it distracts me and I can kinda let out my emotions by singing. I also love my girlfriend. She lives in France and I'll go visit her in July!!! I am so excited, I love her so much. She keeps me going and she makes me feel less empty and it seems like she makes the world look less dull. Her name is Anna. I love her. I don't have many dreams except to live in a beautiful small apartment in a big city with Anna. I don't know what job I wanna do later in life, I don't know how I wanna be. But she makes it okay. I don't know, my depression just makes everything hard, especially since the last two to three months have been very hard for me because of a fight with my favourite person. We're trying to rebuild our friendship but I'm still scared they'll abandon me. God I would love to receive a letter. I also love sharks so... I don't know, shark facts would be neat? Also!!! Please use "Cas" when u write bc I hate my deadname. ily thanks
1443 Christine Female 19-24 Clarkston MI USA
I am 22 years old. I have had anxiety and depression for about 8 years now and been on medication for the past 3 years or so. My depression and low self-esteem makes it very hard to make and keep friends, Wich in turn makes me feel lonely and then more depressed. My anxiety makes it a battle to do the simplest tasks and to leave the house. Therefore I have all but dropped out of college and I don't have a job. I am supported by my mom, my dog Teddy, and my friend Jessey. I don't want to dump my problems on them, but I know they would move the world for me. If I can ever be happy or at least content, I want to be a paramedic and an actress. I love handicrafts, like knitting and chrocheting, Doctor who, supernatural, reading, Shakespeare (I know, *blech*) and The avengers. Part if what started my depression was the realization that despite being raised in the christain church, I don't connect with God and it really feels like he hates me. I have not been able to counteract this, so for the momment I am exploring Buddhism
1444 Amanda Female 19-24 Haverford PA USA
Depressed, anxious, and feeling like a huge burden. Failing a lot at school, work, finances. Struggling like crazy. Just got out of my first stay at a mental hospital which was jarring and not necessarily helpful. Worried about my new meds, adjusting to life, and feel like I dont deserve it.
1445 Ashli Female 14-18 Marion IA USA
i am currently in treatment for bulimia anxiety depression and trichotillomania.
1446 KJ Female 25-29 Rickmansworth United Kingdom
My name is Kj and I have suffered from anxiety and depression since I was around 5. I have been through a lot of trauma, in fact there has hardly been a day that I wasn’t trying to survive it. Growing up my home life was abusive and now i have severe complex ptsd, which causes me to have flashbacks and dissociation all the time. Recently I have felt more hopeless and alone in this world- especially as I cannot connect with anyone or anything. I have been physically and mentally numb for way over a year. My support system has gone. I play violin and I crochet both of which I love to do, I used to write too although i struggle with that a lot now. I want to heal and use my story to help others one day but right now I feel so stuck in fear and terror that even taking the next step in therapy is hard. More often then not I wonder if anyone would notice if i disappeared, and all i long for is to be seen- to find connection to something in this world. My world is incredibly lonely- it’s like i am living in an unbreakable bubble. I do have a faith in God and used to go to church but being around that many people is too overwhelming now and no one there has noticed i’ve been gone since last August. No one reaches out. And i don’t know how to myself anymore.
1448 Jamie Female 25-29 Des Plaines IA USA
I am going through a divorce from my son’s abusive father. He is not regularly in my son’s life, he chooses drugs, alcohol, and friends/girls over him. I have been parenting (with the help of my family) as a mom and dad since my son was 1. It’s really tough. I’ve missed a lot of stuff because I have to work so many hours to pay all my bills and anything my son needs. It’s been tough and my anxiety and depression have been all over the place. One day I hope to settle down with the love of my life and continue to expand the family and show my son that men are not to treat women like his father did.
1453 Natalie Female 25-29 Sunderland England
Am 25 been suffering from depression anxiety and PTSD for a few years now. My childhood hasn't been the best and the last couple of years have been hard for me. I just looking for some extra support. I work In a hospital. I love helping people that is all I've ever known. My family and friends mean the world to me. I especially close to my grandad and dad and brother we all have a special bond. I love spending as much time as I can with them. I love sports. the gym. I love reading. Going to the countryside or beach. I love animals. And listening to music.
1457 Pamela Female 25-29 Cicero IL USA
I have been dealing with depression since my early adolescence which is about 15 years of pain and suffering as well as trying to get help. I am going to be 29 in October and from ages from 11-14 I endured sexual trauma that gave me ptsd as well. I’ve been homeless a couple of times since my diagnosis in 2003 plus losing my dad I. 2010. I enjoy bowling, scrapbooking, photography, writing poetry and in my journal, and karaoke
1462 Alexia Female 14-18 Romford Essex United Kingdom
Im never quite sure how to start my story but hey, I’m Alexia I’m 18years old. I’ve suffered from depression for 3years but have only recently been diagnosed by my GP in March 2018. For the majority of those years only one of my closest friends knew that I was suffering and would constantly tell me to go to doctors, which I wouldn’t due to fear of what would happen. My parents have been divorced since I was 9 years old, which has always upset me as I miss being able to spend time with both my parents as a ‘proper’ family. Their split affects me a lot more now that I’m older as they no longer communicate with each other directly but through me as I’m the eldest child. (I have 1 brother who is 14). Neither of my parents know that I have depression and I’m trying to build up the courage to tell them but I’m afraid it will cause them to argue and say I’m ‘just being silly’. I used to love doing things such as going out with friends, going to the gym and shopping but I now struggle to leave the house. I’m also doing a levels in geography, health&social and business studies which begin on Monday (4th June). As you can imagine this is a huge amount of stress and pressure although I do not wish to go to university my mum is constantly pressuring me to get a job although I feel that I need a proper break. I began taking citalopram 10mg in March which made me feel extremely suicidal and have since been prescribed sertraline 50mg until today when my dose was increased to 100mg as I didn’t want to change anti-depressant in case I experience side effects during my exams. Over the past few weeks I’ve been feeling extremely low and self-harming. I’ve fallen out with friends because they ‘want the old me back’ and have cried most days at sixth form. I feel very guilty at how much my depression is affecting my friends as I’d love for it to just go away. Everyone believes that I’m a happy, friendly person so for those who are aware I have depression it was a big shock as I try my best to hide it. I feel really worthless, useless and ugly and just want to feel like me again.
1464 Kacey Female 14-18 Swindon United Kingdom
Hello, I feel so embarrassed to even consider this, I don't deserve any help. I feel so weak, so weak. I'm only fifteen and depression has been in my life for the past fourteen months. With it, the overwhelming anxiety followed. They made it into a party, inviting OCD, self harm and suicidal thoughts. I felt intruded, a party inside my mind that I couldn't stop. I hid how I felt for so long, allowing people to think it was just anxiety. By the time that I finally broke, it was too late. I couldn't remember the old Kacey, she was lost, destroyed, killed by this thick black depression. The first time I attempted to take my own life, I just felt overwhelmed and tired. I don't think I wanted to die, just be able to rest. I would love to tell you it was the first time but it isn't. It was the only attempt that I've had medical attention for. Since then, it has just been a Web of mental illness. I've been on three different antidepressants since last May. None of them have worked. Nothing is stronger than this depression in my mind, no chemical can fix this imbalance. It feels like nobody cares anymore. They've all heard it before and they're sick of hearing how much I don't want to be here. I feel like a burden constantly. I just wish that I was in control of my emotions but I'm not and it's so frustrating. Currently, I am feeling okay but I fear that it will be like this for a few days then get worse. I promise to hold onto whatever hope there is but it's hard. I just want to be okay again. I'm sorry for being pathetic, I'm just complaining about my problems again and again. Others have it worse.
1465 Emily Female 14-18 North East MD USA
Hi, My name is Emily Osullivan and i struggle with ptsd and depression. I recently came out about being sexually assaulted when i was younger. It has been a hard to go through therapy and talk about my experiences. I haven't had the best support in my family. a lot of them think i can just move on from what happened. I have been struggling with self harm as well. and am currently 12 days clean of cutting which is the longest ive gone in 4 months. Every night is a struggle with flashbacks and panic attacks and the depression. I find myself feeling alone through this hard time. I am a senior in High school and graduate in 3 days (hopefully). I have a love for writing and theatre. and after high school i plan to go to college to become a pediatric nurse. I have a lot of dreams in my future but it just feels like this time in my life is holding me back. I need some encouragement to keep living everyday despite what i lived through. Maybe just an ounce of happiness. Thanks for reading
1466 TiAmy Female 14-18 Alma MI USA
I keep ending up in really toxic relationships, and they make me feel worthless, the guy always comes back to me and it makes me feel bad. Im having issues with my ex saying hes gonna kill himself if i dont get back with him and it sucks, i love him, but he’s a terrible person. I love to paint, and dance even though im not very good at it and my favorite singer is Lil peep, it may sound ridiculous but i cried for two days when he died and sometimes i still get really upset thinking about it, his music was everything i couldn’t say. Im not doing well in sc, and i dont wanna ask for help because i feel like i will look stupid but i know i need the help, i try to be independent but i suck at it. I feel like i suck at everything. i feel really fat and most of the time people say im not but im way overweight for my age, just sometimes i dont eat for a while then i eat a lot, and it’s unhealthy but i cant help it, it comes with my depression along with sleeping long periods of time or not at all, not being motivated to get up and shower or socialize.
1467 Shannon Female 25-29 Highspire PA USA
I am a 27-year-old first time mom of a seven-month-old boy I have been married for four years and I am a 27-year-old first time mom of a seven-month-old boy I have been married for four years and with my husband for a total of 12. When my son was four months old my husband asked for a divorce out of nowhere and I recently found him talking to multiple other women he was my high school sweetheart and who I believe to be my soulmate my entire family lives out of state and currently due to our custody situation I am on able to go home to my family I do not Have any family within state or any friends
1469 Amber Female 14-18 Boston KY USA
Updated Story on 7/12 - Hi, I’m a 15 year old girl who is in high school. I have severe depression and anxiety, and also struggle with some ptsd symptoms. I have struggled with self harm in the past, as well as a lot of self image and self confidence issues. I have been through a lot with a suicide attempt about 3 years ago, many hospitalizations following, therapy, and medications. Original Story - I have struggled with severe depression and anxiety for almost 3 years. Along the way, I’ve also struggled with self harm, a suicide attempt, and multiple hospitalizations. I love art and music, and I hope to one day have a place in the medical field so that I can take what I have been through and help others.
1473 Hannah Female 14-18 Selsey West Sussex United Kingdom
I grew up in a household with a father who was an abusive drunk, I haven’t got a bond with my father so I feel like I’m missing a parent. At age 11, I developed social anxiety, an eating disorder and depression (all medically diagnosed). I also struggled with self harm for a further 5 1/2 years, I’m a few months clean from self harm and have regained control over my eating but I still struggle day to day and it’s a big gamble on how I’ll cope every day
1476 Rita Female 14-18 Viseu Portugal
When I was 12, My depression started. I went through lots of difficulties - bullying, failing at school (due to my depression), being overweight, my grandma dying, among other stuff. I've wanted to give up so many times, yet here I am! Now I have severe depression, Anxiety, PTSD AND PANIC ATTACKS. I'm 18 now, almost 19, aiming to be a pediatric nurse!
1477 Emmett Transgender Male 14-18 Flint MI USA
My depression got worse for me at the age of 9,at the age the bullying got worse and I started harming myself only to get rid of my pain but it only created more once my friends found out they would hit me. I also started coming out as transgender at that age my parents didn’t care to hear it so they yelled I’m 14 years old now and I thought it would get better but it didn’t i still feel so shitty but I’ve stopped cutting myself I’m 3months clean the urges still come around and they get stronger at one point in my life I counted how many times I’ve tried to take my own life. 13 is the number.
1478 Leslie Female 25-29 Union City NJ USA
I’m a 26 year old female who was diagnosed bipolar in 2014 after two failed suicide attempts. My struggle goes as far back as high school, where most of my suicidal thoughts began due to a huge bout of depression. I’m currently a full time student finishing my bachelors in December of 2018. Depression has reshaped how I look at life. I never knew that mental pain can cause so much anguish. I never knew how to love myself so it was so easy to disassociate and find reasons why I shouldn’t be here. After getting help through many hours of therapy, hospitalization and medication I’ve been on the right path. But that doesn’t mean it goes away unfortunately. I have days where I can’t eat or even get out of bed. My life is a constant loop or deja vu and fighting to stay. Some days I just look for the right words to keep me going. I’m lucky to have a very strong support system to lean on but sometimes I don’t wanna disappoint them if I’m experiencing a relapse of symptoms so I keep it to myself. What I want in this life is to make a mark & help others like myself. I’m going to be applying for law school in 2019 and hope that it will help me make a difference and give my life meaning for the first time in 26 years.
1482 Sierra Female 14-18 Thornton CO USA
I've been struggling as long as I can remember. From ages 5-15 I was sexually assaulted by my brother. When I came out about it, at 15, it was ruled a misunderstanding. I've struggled with suicidal ideation and have attempted 3 times. I have been struggling with hallucinations lately as well. I have depression, anxiety, bi-polar and ptsd. I used to struggke with an eating disorder as well. I just really need some reassurance sometimes.
1484 Jerimiah Male 14-18 Thornton CO USA
Everything is just so difficult I strive for love but I can never find it none of my friends are true and just push me away I'll be 18 June 30th and have nobody to celebrate with I feel like a waste of space I turned too drugs too make me feel better and they do but when they wear down I feel as dead and empty I work to keep my mind off things and it works but it just builds on stress and at the end of The day I feel worse than before everything just seems like its going down hill I am so sad I cry internally I always feel emotionless and dead everything feels like its pushing on my chest making it hard to breath I constantly think of hurting myself too see if anyone would notice so they could acknowledge me so I could have someone to talk to life is just getting so hard and its terrible I just want to be happy I just want to feel alive again but nothing brings me long lasting joy anymore I feel like a burden I can't make friends I try and try but everyone just pushes me away its so hard to hear from people to keep trying when I am but nothing works I'm stuck in my own mind not pushing myself hard enough because if I do I'll just have no one again depression is ruining me thank you for giving me this platform to just let everything out what you guys are doing is incredible thank you
1485 Indraja Female 14-18 Chantilly VA USA
I have two black dogs. Sometimes I only have one. But once I see him, I know the other one will shortly follow. I don’t always have the black dogs with me. Some days I feel completely weightless, like I’m not carrying a burden. I’m so used to having them around. I almost feel guilty not having them. Sometimes I worry if they are not with me they are with someone else. But when they are there I want them to leave. I wish they would leave and never return. But it seems like I’m on a leash; bound to them and I can not let go. The black dogs names are depression and anxiety. You never know when they are going to come back to their master. Although I am their master I have no control over them. They are constantly barking. Confusing me. I can’t think with them barking so loudly. The shame of owning these black dogs is real. You feel like they are a sign of weakness. You don’t want anyone knowing you have these black dogs. Especially dogs you can’t control. When you see friends, you put the music on loud, so they can’t hear the black dogs. You pull the curtain so they can’t see the black dogs. You’re so busy worrying about people seeing the black dogs, so worried the black dogs will escape and bite someone that you give up trying. You isolate yourself, wanting to be alone with them. The dogs soon take over everything in your life. They take up all your time. People who come over, you push away because you don’t want them to see the real side of you, the pain and shame you are feeling. If people see the dogs get defensive. You reassure people that “that they are OK” and “I have them trained and under control”. But you (alone) can never get control over them. All the things you used to enjoy are now pointless. The dogs distract you and ruin everything surrounding you. You don’t want anyone to be affect by you having the dogs. This is why you hide. When you finally admit to yourself that you need to get a trainer to help train the black dogs, they leave. You think the worst is over. They won’t come back. But (for me) they always come back. They can come back at any time and who knows, the dogs maybe bigger and more viscous next time. Some days I just want to end it all, I have tried once, but luckily it was unsuccessful. I just want to have a day without the black dogs, or a day when I can fully control them. I am glad I am now getting help, because everyday it is getting better, and I am beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
1486 Iryl Female 19-24 Batangas City Batangas Philippines
Hi. I am Iryl. i am 24 yrs old, from the Philippines and i have been a nurse for 4 years.. I really am not sure why I am here but all i know is maybe, just maybe someone will get to appreciate me too. Being a nurse has been a rollercoaster for me. It is fun, knowledgeable and quite tiring.. When I started this profession, i was very positive and bubbly. i love taking care of patients. i love the interaction with them especially my elderly patients. i think of them as my own family.. but these past years, i dont feel the same as before.. i started to feel empty.. as much as i want to be the same person before, it is very hard for me maybe because i dont feel anything within me.. the fire i had before is slowly dying.. please dont get me wrong, i still love my patients but.. i dont have that same passion and enthusiast from before.. I dont know if i am just tired.. or maybe because i gave away most of myself away that i forgot about me.. i cant tell this to my family and friends because i dont want them to worry and i have created this barrier to myself.. to not let others know what i am thinking and to somehow protect my feelings.. i hope you can help me.. thank you very much
1487 Codi Female 14-18 Chancellor SD USA
Well... there are good days and bad days for everyone, aren't there? PTSD is pretty good at messing up happy moments, but I'm working on it. Thanks for the love and support!
1488 Kiren Female 19-24 Hitchin United Kingdom
I'm 20 years old, living in the UK and am going to be starting my 3rd and final year of university in September (studying criminology and sociology). I've been dealing with depression and social/anxiety for the majority of my life but I had been dealing with it entirely alone until a few months ago when I finally told my best friend and my mum but even then I was hesitant and made it seem much less of a big deal that it was in reality. I've always been an very independent person but I was never a person who wouldn't be able to ask for help but this completely was different and I was considering lying and telling my mum I was on birth control and sexually active than saying I was battling depression, but telling them was the best thing I could do. I know don't have to be struggling to find excuses for my actions, and I have someone by my side to help me up and I started realising of course not everyone has that I can't begin to understand how they cope and get through it. In a way I am trying to use this in a positive way, because I've now decided that during my lifetime I want to be helping people that suffer from mental illness, I'm unsure exactly what way but I'm hoping I can entwine it with my career. I'll have to wait until I know what job I want, cause I am currently in university not knowing what I want to do when I go in the 'real world' but I've always been a traveller at heart I guess. Every since I could talk, I dreamt about travelling far and everywhere, experiencing different cultures and ways of life, so far I've only been to India, Italy and France (Disneyland) but I've always kept this dream alive even at the darkest times to help me get through it all. and now, i'm starting to come out of my awkward, shy shell and this is my first step, this whole idea of writing/sending letters was something i would never do so i thought it would be the perfect thing to start with. I just hope that I can start to become more comfortable within myself and confident, because currently this is just out my comfort zone and I'm managing but if I were to speak to anyone or public speaking I am the worst! I took a 0 on my university presentation because I could not even imagine myself talking to my class, I was close to crying thinking about it. If you have any tips that would be great ahaha! I'm thinking of starting a youtube channel to help me probably will be a disaster but i thought that would be a good start and i'm always on youtube- most of the time i will be watching someone on youtube, i have so many favourites that i never have enough time to watch them all! Anyway, so i am a huge marvel fan!! loki, peter parker, thor i absolutely love them! i grew up hearing about marvel but my family were stereotypical so they considered a boys thing so i only started getting into a lot more when the 1st film came out and it was the first thing me and my younger brother bonded over really so its quite special to me, erm I am also a big fan of reading - mostly thrillers/dramas or some slam/poetry, i can't write to save my own ass but i love getting so immersed in something, its always been my number one thing to get away from myself and life. I really don't know how much you are meant to write for this, I'm hoping this is too much, I ramble and apologies if it doesn't make sense, I am writing this on an hours of sleep! I hope you have the best day possible :)
1489 Matthew Male 14-18 Springdale AR USA
I didn’t have a good childhood, my grandparents were awful, and now I’m transgender but feel like I’m not getting any support and I just feel alone and hopeless
1490 Shayne Female 25-29 Marston Moretaine United Kingdom
I've been under mental health teams since I was 10 years old and I begun self-harming. I'm not going to go into details about why (as I don't feel it's important, and I'm also not ready to discuss it with anyone) but I was diagnosed with Manic Depression, Anxiety, Severe Social Anxiety, OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and ARD (Adjustment Reaction Disorder) over the space of years (from age 10 to 25). I struggle daily as I have physical illnesses on top of my mental ones, some of those being Crohn's Disease, Severe Migraines, blah blah. But for the lighter stuff now. I enjoy colouring, gaming, drawing, reading, any crafts that I can get my hands on (and easily learn without input from interacting with people outside my house haha). The only real special people in my life are my best friend who I met through an online support group for BPD and my dog, and I adore him. They are both my safety nets, my shoulders to cry on, and I believe I've only survived by having them in my life. My hopes are to finally have my diseases under control enough for me to begin a life that involves actually leaving my bed, and my dreams are of the same thing. I don't really know what else to say about me. I'm pretty dull :)
1491 Ava Female 19-24 Beaverton MI USA
Ive dealt with depression and anxiety all my life. I grew up with a verbally abusive father and feel like im just as worthless as he said i am. I could go with some love and support right now even if its from a complete stranger.
1492 Megan Female 25-29 Lyles TN USA
I am 29 years old and I was recently diagnosed with bipolar 2, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. I'm unsure of how to process and handle these diagnoses.
1493 Matthew Male 25-29 North Arlington NJ USA
Hi, my name is Matthew and I am married with a son. I'm a hard worker who enjoys family time and video games and tv/movies. I suffer with intrusive negative thoughts, depression and anxiety. Ive been in recovery from various addictions and i am working hard at my marriage. I would just love support , kind words and maybe some advice. Thank u!
1496 Emilee Female 19-24 Jackson MO USA
Hi. So I have struggled with "depression and anxiety" for years now. I quoted it because I feel like they are such broad terms that mean something completely different to each person who experiences it. For me it's a never-ending desire for acceptance. I get anxious and fretful trying to appease everyone, and I neglect what I want in life. I get down and have no drive to do what I really desire to do when I'm feeling okay. Thanks for taking the time to read this and write to me. Much love.
1499 Alicia Female 25-29 Overijssel Netherlands
For 7 years I'm on and off depressed and it feels like I can't bear it anymore. Yes, I follow therapy and finally the right one, but it takes so much time which I don't want to give to myself. I have lost a good friend because of my depression and that is something I still struggle with. It is hard to feel hopeful, to have good days and although I am trying, the bad feeling isn't far away. When I'm feeling ok, I like to visit different cities. In the Netherlands, but also in Europe. The anxiety makes it hard, but it is something I push myself to do. I watch a lot of movies and series, Still haven't seen The Incredibles 2, but I can't wait to see it, hopefully in cinema. Brooklyn 99 is one of my favorite shows, it never fails to make me smile. The summer vacation is starting here, so I'm gonna take my nephew on a daytrip. Just the two of us getting away, visiting a city, a museum, having some quality time. It's good to have that. I hope that I will love myself again someday, that I won't be that hard on myself and that I can be forgiving to myself. Because living with selfhatred is one of the difficult things that came with a long depression. I want to work in a bookstore, a big one. Here we have some really nice ones in old churches, that's totally a dream to work there. I want to give love and feel loved, I want to really live.
1505 Hayley Female 19-24 Mildura Victoria Australia
Hello. My name is Hayley and I'm writing you because I am trying to increase my support system. I was 15 when I was diagnosed with depression. Years later and many different diagnosis I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective at the age of 21. Since starting clozapine last year my mental health has improved but I'm still struggling quite a lot. I'm also having trouble with my diet. Clozapine has increased my apatite a great deal. Resulting in me gaining 20kg. I don't have many friends to talk to so I will really appreciate a letter. My goal is to become a PCA. I started studying last year but I had to differ due to anxiety. So studying is my goal.
1506 Kahlil Male 25-29 Houston TX USA
I was so unhappy in my life that I became toxic to everyone around me. I would bully others to build my self-esteem. I would steal from good people. I admit, I placed my selfish wants in front of anyone’s needs. But with all the help and development through out the years I’ve learned to control my narcissism. I’m so much happier now that I can control my mental illness by speaking out. I’m much more understanding now that I know why my father left my mother to raise a son on her own. He did it so I can grow into the man who’s supposed to support and care for her like the husband she never had. I able to cope everyday knowing my journey in life is to advocate others on the importance of mental health. My dream is give the world a clean slate of myself full of love and safety. Oh happy day.
1507 Corinne Female 14-18 Staten Island NY USA
from a really young age I've been filled with anxiety to the point that my teachers didn't know if i could speak because i wouldn't, then in like the fifth grade i became super depressed, ate a lot and slept away most of my time and had points where i would just cry and contemplate life and the point of living. i couldn't imagine a future past being in highschool. when i was 13 my grandmother took her own life and my mother decided to put me in therapy and since then ive become a lot better at handling my emotions and being more positive.
1509 Ana Female 19-24 Amadora Lisboa Portugal
Hi, my name is Ana. I'm 24. I had ortorexia and I recovered two Years ago. This pas year has been worse. I usually struggle with loneliness. I have very little friends, but I specially love hanging out with my best friend Carol, and her best friend, Ed. We have a lot of fun, the three of us. But sometimes, when I really want to go out because I need oxygen and I feel like I could possibly end up doing something reckless or hurting myself, there"s no one to go out with, no one to pick up the phone when I really need them to. Its those moments where I feel like I should end it all. And only dancing makes me feel some sort of confort.
1510 Laraida Female 19-24 Tamarac FL USA
I SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION SINCE I WAS 13 YEARS OLD AND HAD OVERCOME IT IN THE LAST FEW YEARS I DO LOVE TO LISTEN AND RELATE TO MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE STORIES.
1511 Rebecca Female 19-24 Moers NRW Germany
Hello I struggle with depression ever since i can remember. I tried to commit suicide but i obviously failed. I have suicidal thoughts every day, but i am in therapy and not in immediate danger. I found a bit of hope in Jesus and the love of God, but it cannot keep me from feeling sad and unwanted. I feel like i am a little girl in a wayy to big and grey and hopeless world. So if you have any upraising words for me that would be very kind
1513 Elijah Male 19-24 Thornton CO USA
So I’m not quite sure how to start all this but, I’ve been (I’m not used to saying this) “struggling” with mental illness since about 7th grade and it’s been kinda weird/hard trying to find out what exactly is wrong with me, but after a few years and many appointments I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar 2, which sucks but the medication helps a lot, it’s like a mood stabilizer but I think it’s more placebo effect more than anything. I’m not necessarily doing too bad right now just in a weird place. In 8th grade I started dating a girl and it was an aggressive start to a “serious” relationship considering I was in middle school, and you know as things sort of went on obviously she ended up being my first for everything. But after that relationship ended and high school started I sank to a deep place. I was messing around with lots of girls and just trying to fit in and fill whatever I felt was missing. In sophomore year I met my now girlfriend and it was a rough start but after 3 months I really fell in love with her, and I cheated on her.. and I never told her, we’re engaged now and even writing this makes me want to cringe at what I’ve done but I’ve been cheating on her the most recent was tonight. And it was ongoing it’s the second time, and I don’t know how to live with myself or why even do it. My relationship with her is perfect and it’s everything anyone could want but I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I’ve never told anyone this. So it’s a bit hard to get it out over typing and re reading it. But that’s basically where I’m at right now, stuck in a weird place surrounded with positivity and nothing but love and I go and do this. I just don’t know ya know? But thank you -Elijah
1515 Jean-Pierre Male 25-29 Dulmen NRW Germany
I'm down for quite a while now, the first diagnosis for depression came when i was 15, been in therapy for two times and i still se a psychologist every week. the last two to three years were especially hard, i lost almost all friends, retreated from society and isolated myself. LAst week my mom died and it ripped another big hole in me, even when the relationship to my mother was not that great. Still hurts massively.
1516 Laura Female 25-29 Newcastle upon Tyne UK
My name is Laura and I’m 25 years old. I am currently a masters student studying business with human rescoruces. The course is going OK but I’ve found it very tough battling through it with my depression and anxiety. I’m due to finish in October. I have had depression since I was 15 (on and off).
1520 Theresa Female 25-29 Victorville CA USA
Hello, my name is Theresa. Im 27 and I live in California in the United States. I have suffered with mental illness since I was young due to trauma and unhealthy upbringing. Ive seen a therpist but I am currently in the process of finding a psychiatrist so that I can get a diagnosis. I suffer from anxiety and depression but its so much more than that. Due to research, I believe I have BPD (borderline personality disorder). To make a long story short, my brain doesnt function normally and i have heightened emotions. Every day is a battle to get through. Anyways, on a positive note I enjoy writing, reading, crafting, and hanging out with my dogs and my boyfriend. I love a bit of everything as my tastes are constantly changing. Hope whoever is reading this is having a great day. Lets spread love all over the world ! so many people need it. God bless. - Theresa
1524 Cheryl Female 19-24 Singapore Singapore
I had my first encounter with depression in 2008 during my early teen years. I have always been a good student but my grades were suddenly dropping and I did not know how to deal with failure. I hid at home, and ran away once when friends and relatives came to talk to me. I felt like I could not face them, and I did not want to cry in front of any of them. I thought that things were getting better when I haven't had "meltdowns" in a long time. I have a long-term boyfriend and I was looking forward to a future together. I thought that I was stable enough to start full-time work again, but I don't think that anything changed over the years. I still don't know how to cope with the fear of failing. I go to work for a couple of weeks and retreat back home whenever I start feeling stressed out at work to the point of tears. I have failed so many times that I get tired of trying. Sometimes I see no point in living a future where work is a necessity (which I fail in doing) but at the same time, I am still hoping for the future I envisioned. I am just afraid of trying again when I have failed so many times. I pray for strength but maybe strength is not the issue when my brain refuses to cooperate.
1525 Laurana Female 14-18 Cromwell IN USA
It's never ending, always constant. Waking up wishing I never did, and regretting almost everything I do. I cant figure out what makes me happy or what makes me me. This is the short version, but I could say all day how much I hate me, and wish i was something else. Happy for one.
1526 Brookelyn Female 14-18 Warsaw IN USA
I have struggled with depression ever since my best friend died. His name was Danny and he was the closest friend I had. My mom recently got with my ex boyfriend yes. You did read that right ex boyfriend. She’s broken my heart but I have had an amazing man come into my life and pick it up. His names Austin and I love him so very much. I struggle so hard right now and I cry constantly because austin is currently in jail. I miss him so much. My rent is a lot on my own. I never have food to eat and I have 1 sister and 6 brothers. :( I feel so alone in my apartment by myself. I need encouraging words. :( some days I feel nothing will get better.
1527 Sabrina Female 19-24 Fort Wayne IN USA
I have been fighting depression since I was in sixth grade and I just graduated high school. I went through years of self harm and it took the death of my best friend, Sam, to finally stop. I have attempted on my life more times than I would like to admit. I've been in a mental hospital from one of my overdoses and a year of therapy before my parents get up on it. I was bullied when I was younger for having eyes that aren't normal, I have Duane's Syndrome which makes my life pretty difficult, ranging from doing my makeup in the morning and being able to get a license. I'm not very open with my friends or family, but honestly as each day goes by I feel more and more hopeless, like I'm not meant to be here and I just wish I could feel better, but it's too much.
1528 Brooklynn Female 14-18 Burns Harbor IN USA
My name is Brooklynn and I have had a rollercoaster of a life. My parents split when I was little and I was in and out of houses. My dad went to jail and my mom worked two jobs to support me and my sister. When he came back we were all broken. I struggled with bullying by moving to a new school and was overweight as well. I began to starve myself in middle/high school and I got very skinny. I also self harmed badly. My mom almost put me in a hospital, but I finally hit a breaking point and told myself it had to stop. I went through counseling and almost a psychologist. I eventually started to love myself again and I gained weight back. My family was coming back together and I had an amazing relationship with them. My dad remarried and it was a perfect fit. I love my family and step family. But I had very toxic relationships and I got into drinking and drugs. I was sleeping with people when I was too young. My mom again had to theaten to send me away. I finally met my now boyfriend of three years. He was similar to me and we were going through the same things. He truly saved me and he is my best friend. We built each other back up and loved each other from the day we met. Today I am doing better. I still struggle with weight and body dysmorphia. It comes in waves and I’m self conscious. I also struggle with bad anxiety. My anxiety is something that controls me. I lost my grandma this year in February, she was my biggest role model. She was my second mom and it put me in a terrible depression this year. I didn’t see a purpose but I finally realized that I can’t live like that because she wouldn’t want that for me. I believe she is always with me and that God blessed me with her for 18 years. She is now my guardian angel. I am finding help and counting my blessings. I have amazing friends that love and support me. I have the most amazing boyfriend and his family supports me as well. My family is my rock and I have such a huge support system. I am very grateful and I hope one day my mental illness won’t control my life anymore.
1530 Shane Male 19-24 Warsaw IN United States
Working days by day with emotional an depression for the past 6 to 7 years an want to be able to connect with someone with their problems or maybe become good friends
1535 Olivia Female 19-24 Ryde Isle of Wight
Hello, I’m Olivia - I’m 18 & I live in a hostel called ‘the foyer’ I’ve been living here for 8 months now roughly. This year has been the hardest year of my life yet, I’ve had to overcome so much & fight for so much. I have Bipolar, I got diagnosed with this when I was 14, that was also a rough year as my parents put me in care as they didn’t feel like they could support me. I felt abandoned & most of all pushed out. I got diagnosed with depression this year after I had to terminate my pregnancy 4 months ago, due to an abusive relationship. It was awful. I’m slowly getting better. In 2015 I found the love of my life, but unfortunately ended in 2017 because I had an addiction to drugs & I thought the life of the party was much better than my own boyfriend. I regret that now because I miss him, everyday, I’m still trying to get over him to this day. I think neglect throughout my life has been really tough, & as person it’s made me stronger but also cut up inside. I contemplate suicide everyday. I want to overdose everyday, I think of ways of hurting myself but to not hurt others. It’s really difficult.. I’m still fighting though, I will be starting college hopefully soon & I can hopefully get into my Art again, that always helped me. I love my photography & drawing. I wish I could show you. Lighting up my life with a letter would mean a lot to me considering imna very lonely person as it is, I don’t have many friends, I isolate myself. So thank you for having the time to read Olivia